The Pampas

"My Friends you will have the most amazing time, hey my friendzzz one girl she cry so much I say what is wrong , she say nothing its just so wonderful all the animals I want to stay here forever!! My Frienddzdzdzddz you will see Alligators, Caiman, Capybara my Friendzzz you swim with Piranha and dolphin you drink tea with monkeys, my Friends, My Friends I love English music, smack my bitch up, Stone Roses, Pulp ahhh Common People, sorted for e and whizzzz yeah.. hey My Friendssss" --- Jonny, the Pampas salesman September 2007.

We did see all these things though (ok no tea with Monkeys and we didn't cry).

After looking at Thorntree (lonely Planet Forum) to gain an insight into which company is best for a Pampas tour, and being none the wiser, we wander into Amazonia travels office and are subjected to the above.. its hot we are bothered so buy two tickets immediately and head for the pool.

The next day we sit around in the office waiting for the tour to start.. "My Friends ......." agagaghrrghh, eventually we are driven to a different office where we are fused with another group, bundled into an very uncomfortable jeep and we are off on the bumpiest dustiest drive ever.

The guide stops at a Petrol station and we are asked to leave the vehicle as he climbs on the roof to fill up the petrol tank?? think this is for the boat perhaps....

pigstop

The journey to the river (3 hrs) is not so bad, thanks to Bradley who has purchased a bag of cold beer and we merrily tuck into a pleasant breakfast and learn his fail safe method of winning at roulette which is paying for his trip (more later if it works for us, see you soon if not). Saw a couple of Toucans and Ostriches on route.

We get to the river which is narrow and shallow and clamber into a long wooden boat, same sort as we used for the Pantanal and we are off.

aligator

we turn the corner and see an alligator straight away, followed by a group of capybara, then another alligator.... a prehistoric looking bird.... then another aligator...turtles.....a large blue kingfisher...a caiman...more alligators...more capybaras. All only a couple of meters away, it was as if they had been carefully arranged for our viewing pleasure. Its the only water for some distance and the river is low so there is more beach and fresh new grass - optimum conditions for seeing the most wildlife, but we didn't expect to see that much. The birds were amazing in abundance and variety, so many crazy colours and strange types- we feel like we ve stepped back in time. And family after family of those cute capybara grazing, having mud baths and swimming around, bless them they look so huggable.

"the whole situation was running along nicely like a canoe on wet grass" Iain Banks.

jaribu stalks stand about 5 foot high.

Lots of these magnificently odd golden birds in big groups that were very chatty and got quite flustered as we passed and flew across our heads to the no more safe other side.

Spotted some howler monkeys,Turkey vultures, birds that swim with their bodies under the water and heads above like snakes and lots of birds that look like those early beautiful litho illustrations. Their really are hundreds of alligators here, they stop sunning themselves and slip into the water as we pass- you can just see the bubbles once they submerge the water is as brown as the lake in charlie and the chocolate factory. Then when you look you see so many bubble trails around the boat its a little unnerving. But its the Camain (not so many of these) that really give you the willies- they are 6 foot monsters with massive wide jaws and unlike the alligators they are very dangerous to humans and attack by ambush. They don't sleep apparently- freaks, I like to see the ones basking with there mouths open. Bugger not having a proper zoom.

Caiman

The turtles are really funny they all just lose their balance and plop into the water as we approach.

We saw the pink river dolphins (more on these later) and some spiderish type monkeys. Unfortunately there are a couple of tour companies that dont treat the animals with respect and we came across one of them straight away. The Anaconda tour boat revved into our lives, they scared the dolphins, and they fed the monkeys. Also they allegedly take bribes to kill the odd alligator etc... its not legal but no one knows exactly who has done what so they get away with it. The people in their boat look like meat heads and they star blankly at us when we venture they shouldn't be feeding the animals. We steer well clear of them and luckily our camp is further down river than all the others. The lodge is on stilts on a high bank with a great view of the river and space for a small army, theres only 7 of us but it makes you worry about how rammed with boats the little river must be in those times.

At nightfall if you shine the torch along the river bank the alligator eyes shine back red, we counted 23 in the part of the river just below us.

Had some nice fried chicken and beer for super and played cards.

Unfortunately I spotted a vampire bat in the lodge and tried to shoo it away with a boot. It just crawled eerily over the ledge. I saw a program about them and that's the way they slowly move on and off their prey and we were for dinner. Everyone had a good sleep apart from me, I was awake for hours listening to the squeaks and flapping of those evil things worrying about the lengths they would go to to get under my mossy net and suck my blood.

Well everyone survived the night without double bite marks much to my surprise and after an early breakfast we went off on a walk to look for big snakes(as you do). It was a hard slog across humid grassy plains and through marshy lake beds to seek the Anaconda in borrowed wellies with holes in(nice). Im not that interested in snakes so of course Im the one that nearly steps on a cobra anaconda. We then spend some time trying to thrash it back out of the long grass to be told later their bite can make you deaf and blind(alrighty). Bradly got stuck in the swamp up to his middle which was a bit of a highlight. A nice dog joined our expedition and we saw some peachy water lillies and birds but doubt we ll do any more snake walks.

After lunch we veered away from the macho morning and went to swim with the pink river dolphins. Apparently they attack the alligators on mass and keep them away making it safe. Im still being a bit of a wuzz though and us girls only swim for about 5 mins. You cant get Dave out even though things kept brushing passed him in the murk. And and he merrily swims in the middle of about 15 of them while they have a blow hole noise competition.

These amazing creatures were thought extinct, resurfaced in the 50 s and were promptly forgotten about then Jaque Cousteau astounded TV viewers in the 80s with a film of them. They are steeped in myth and killing one is said to be extremely bad, paramount to killing a witchdoctor. Local tribes associate unwanted pregnancies with the creature and say it takes human form and donns a white suit to serenade the ladies. There are barmy tales of them living in underwater cities wearing catfish shorts & sting ray hats walking on turtle shell pavements & lounging in hammocks made from anacondas. It is likely it stems from how odd looking they are and the fact they can change colour from white to pink. Very rare, only found here and a smattering in Brazil, fabuloso!

Along a walk way our guide beckoned to us from the undergrowth, he had found a very tiny baby giant anteater. We left her waiting patiently for her mum to return, here she is.....

There was a viewing tower from which we spotted a dead Alligator in the river that the vultures were pretty interested in. Later our guide said it would have been killed by one of the less reputable companies for a fee and just left in the water, very sad.

went for a night boat ride just using the paddles and had an alligator in the water in between the shore and boat, it was right up against our side. I could have put my hand out and patted it, but I preferred to sit there & whimper. It used our boats proximity to the shore to trap and catch a fish, I nearly jumped into Dave's arms (in a cartoon stylie) as its jaws snapped shut. In retrospect it was cool.

2 fish jumped into the boat at one stage to save themselves from a similar fate, they may also have been aiming for Daves arms.

Got up at 5 for another paddle down stream to hear the dawn chorus. The Howler monkeys started to sing and sounded like the steady moan of ghosts with throat infections, very pleasantly strange. They are pretty shy and as we moored the boat they went quiet. And stayed that way as we hacked towards their tree like a herd of elephants (difficult for 8 people to quietly creep through Jungle). Dave and I did get a good look at them through the bins, they had some babies clinging to their bellies and were surprisingly cute for big monkeys (bet they don't have these at monkey world Jason). Here's a photo of a postcard as we didn't get near enough for shots as they stay very high in the tree tops. Acually these are not howlers(but equally cute).....will update soon....

On the final morning we fished for Pirhanas. They had a nack of just nibbling all the meat from the hooks at lightning speed. The way to catch them aparently was to yank them out of the water as they took hold and hope they caught their teeth. The guide caught a few and so did Tom, Dave caught a fish but not of the fierce kind, here´s one of the blighters.....

Reluctantly took the return boat journey and arrived on shore to find out there was a lorry driver stike against the apallingly dangerous roads in the area. They had blockaded the roads to hit the tourists as this was the only way the government would take note. We dont blame them but the 2 hour walk at mid day down a straight and dusty road with the sun beating down wasnt too welcome.

That evening back on dry land we had fantastic pinácoladas and tequila sunrises at a local bar. Our new found friend & wild card Bradley hustled the locals at pool after serveral stupidly strong long island iced teas. Him & his partner were meant to be leaving early the next morning, we knew this wasnt the case when Dave heard "wheres me tooth?" their antics & humour would be with us for a while yet.

Pool therapy and very tasty chicken sandwiches with golf sauce were the order of the day. A good rest before our next pursuit towards the salt flats the following day.

more photos of the pampas