La Ceiba (actually still Jan 2008)

We left Utila in the morning, it was still dark and raining as we trudged our way to the dock. It felt so strange to be leaving when we had expected to be living there for months. And here we were sailing towards La Ceiba.



“That was the day we arrived at la ceiba. The sea was flat and green, and the land behind it was a range of mountains, black and blue, with clouds hanging on them in smoky rolls. We sailed toward the pier and the clouds sank farhter down the mountains and into the racks of trees, revealing a ridge of peaks, some like the spiky backs of monster lizards and others like molars.”
-Paul Theroux, ' The mosquito coast.'

Straight away we head over to the medicentro to get my blood taken, my chest shaven and some extra nipples applied. I have to leave this halter monitor on for 24 hours so the Cardiologists can figure out if I am ok to go diving or not!


deforestation


The local mannequins with their chapel hat pegs cheer us both up.


our lovely hotel

We spent the day distracting ourselves with the 70 odd TV channels and even put together our own TvGuide: House, Pimp My Ride bla.. bla..bla .

We’d watch the world passing by from our balcony and marvel at the constant honking from the taxi drivers who beep at anyone they pass. And watch the frequent rain which comes down in sheets bouncing off the pavements and putting a halt to the bustle ( torrential downpours are great when people get trapped and won't even cross the street). Often we’d just stare at the incomparable mass of wires (they liked to fix these crashing about between midnight and 1am).



Mitch who owns Altons was in town and he invited us out for dinner at Ricardos , a cut above Wendys (honest Jim it was!). We had a great meal, got all the island gossip and the lowdown on state of the dive industry in Utila. One company undercuts the agreed minmums and gets a higher percentage of trade. Unbeknownst to punters they cut back on quality of equipment and have a boat that leaks diesel across the reefs, nice!


travellers palm outside ricardos

Jackie Correctly guesses the music playing is from the Godfather, so Mitch ‘does us a favour’ and gets the drinks.

The next day I have the monitor removed and we mooch around town followed by abstract taxi jazz. We have fun sticking our arms out to hail them and then sweeping them back to scratch the top of our heads as they slow down expectantly.


"Banana Republic, Septic Isle".

Honduras is the original Banana republic. The Americans were so impressed with how fast the fruit grew they took control of the industry. By 1918 3 American companies owned 75 percent of the banana growing lands so politics were controlled by the US banana interests. The United Fruit Company was nicknamed "The Octopus" (El Pulpo) for its willingness to involve itself in politics, sometimes violently. Honduras later got hit by hurricaine Mitch and the downward trend of the country getting poorer still continues today.

In the hardware shop when we are buying a plug 4 people do the job of one, it keeps people in employment. One finds the plug, the second walks it to the counter, the 3rd takes your money and the fourth hands you the goods.


coconut removal lathe

In the morning we got up early and went back into the chilly air conditioned medicentro. It was like waiting in a fridge.

The cardiologist looked over the results and asked me how I was feeling. Which apart from being nervous , was ‘fine’. He confirmed what Dr John had said, that there are 3 things happening. Missing beats, extra beats and beats in different places, basically a jungle breakbeat noodle combo. Some of these things are not normally a problem, many healthy people have irregular heartbeats. He then dropped the bomb and told us I should go back to England and get a pacemaker fitted. Excuse me?(what the @'??*#%$%$5$!!!!)

We left in a daze , disbelief and tears.
Not only do we have to go home, but our plans for living on a beach, diving, painting and making small people was in ruins…. and they wanted to ‘pimp my heart!’



Reeling, we phoned home with the bad news and emailed Sid and Fran (Doctor friends) to get their advice. They reckoned we should contact the insurance company asap and also speak to Jim. He was 'brilliant' and sent the scans of my heartbeat over to his Cardiologist mates straight away. He had his doubts about the need for a pacemaker as I was feeling fine and showing no symptoms. This was promising.

Jackie looks up some info on pacemakers, there are a whole host of reasons not to want one aside from the obvious: infections, sticks out, replaced every 5 years and no going near strong magnets (large speakers for example). We retired to a bar overlooking the beach, drank imperials and stared across the water in the direction of Utila watching the Pelicans gliding along the waves and tried unsucessfully to get our heads round it.

“..Seven Pelicans with dark freckled feathers flew low over the green sea in formation like a squadron of hedge clippers”. Paul theroux

The next 2 weeks, which I'll try and keep short, was a complete farce. Due to our insurance company being a bunch of incompetent, negligent idiots.

To begin with they agreed with the diagnosis and wanted us back in the UK to get a pacemaker. Which didn't tally with Jims Cardiologist friends, so we asked for a proper Cardiologist to review my case.

They constantly screwed us around and left us waiting for hours in our hotel room for calls they said they would return. A typical day went like this...

Call the insurance company and request call back.
Go to hotel room and wait..........



2 hrs later.. nothing
Go to the call centre on the street & call the insurance company
"oh sorry, yes we'll call back straight away"
go to the hotel room
wait...........
Go to the call centre on the street & call the insurance company
"oh sorry, yes we'll call back straight away"
they give us a time at which they will call
we wait....
a new member of staff has come on and she'll look in it it
we eat junk food and watch TV...
we wait...

night falls

repeat for a week till bored, angry, upset, we usually had to call them 6 times a day to get absolutly knowhere.

It was, if you can believe it worse than dealing with a broadband company.

Eventually we speak to the chief MO who had by now changed his mind and thinks Jims friends are probably right, he's still waiting for the UK Cardiolgists opinion but now he's actually LOOOKED AT my test results, he's hopeful. He says they will sort out a second cardiologist.

One evening out of the blue the phone in our room rings.

"Hello"
"Hello"
"Hello, You need assist?"
"sorry what?"
"errrrrr, you need assist?'
"who is this?"
"are you in pain?"
"you need someone to come?
"no we just want an appoi"
line goes dead, no further calls

In the morning we spoke to the insurance company who tell us that was their Honduran agents that phoned us.

"Did they arrange an appointment for you?'
"well let me seeeeeeeeeeeee... NO!!!"

They say they'll call back after they've spoke to their agents.
we wait..................



Later that evening, after we have asked the insurance company to make sure whoever calls can speak English, a call

"Hello"
"Hello, you need assist?"

"arrfggggggggh!!!!.!!!


The followoing morning we hold the insurance companies hand and walk them through how to treat a 'client in distress', using the ABCD's from our rescue course.

Ask them what the need/what you can do for them
Be attentive and
Courteous
just Do it!!! Straight away.

We insist the details of the appointment are given to us by someone who at least speaks enough English to let us know the time and place (such as the insurance company perhaps????) this is too much to ask ofcourse. What we get is more waiting and another call or two from the Central American agency of misinformation: you need assist......????? bbbuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrr.

When we did finally get an appointment and arrived at the hospital to find out it was with someoneold who had not worked there for 3 years!!!!!!(brilliant). We phoned him and he gave us the name of his replacement, who was on holiday, his stand in , who confused us , was useless and we left. None of them were even doctors, they were managers.
If only "Thats Life" was still running.

we phoned the insurance company and got back on the merry go round....

We were by this stage furious and had a number of heated conversations with our insurers.

After almost 2 weeks of misdirection & days of staring at a phone, we get an appointment with a cardiologist and the extra blood tests Jim suggested.


we feel like this

We went through the same routine, how are you feeling, checking pulse , blood pressure, have you been fainting , I’m fine, its slow, its normal , no…

Panic set in as we got our wires crossed (he was only just an English speaker), we thought he was telling us I had to go home and get a pacemaker.

But no, he was saying you don’t need a pacemaker!!!!… hurray!

However he couldnt sign me off to go diving.. gutted.



We let our Parents know the good and mediocre news and get hold of the insurance company. They are saying similar things there end as they have shown the results to some senior cardiologists in England. What we hadn’t realized was that I was now classed a possible insurance risk and they had to decide whether we could carry on with our trip and wanted an itinerary to see how risky we might be, oh dear!!!… Its not like we were expecting to wander about in cotton wool or stay in the best hotels and be carried round the world on a chaise longue with an army escort. There is talk of being in remote places as potentially not a good idea and they will take our itinerary and show it to there backers. ah!!

We email the itineraryto the insurers and the chief MO who I’ve now spoken to on the phone (the only sensible member of the insurance company), ! Our itinerary includes surfing, hiking, climbing mountains and Ocean sailing. Well, thousands of miles into the middle of the pacific, not all that remote is it??

Amazingly they agree to carry on insuring us , which is great news. Its under the proviso that we are aware no one really knows if Im going to have problems or not. Theres no history of people of my age turning up with these problems, older people with symptoms, yes. If we are in a remote place ie: far out in the ocean it will be our responsibility to get me out of there and back somehwhere sensible where they can take over. They advised we got it thoroughly checked out once back home.

Anyway......here's our choice of eateries, that we frequented each day, not good under the circumstances but the only choice.



We weren’t sure which would be worse for my health, diving or eating in La Ceiba.
Jim would have loved it, he says "Wendys rules!".. he also says he'd rather stay in and smoke fags than go for a walk!!

Ours bodies must have been supersaturated with fat, clogging up our pores and waterproofing our skin. A light dusting of a special recipe, 10 minutes baking on the sidewalk and we’d be put in a bucket and sold as a bargain.

Its not often you can say “Pizza hut saved my life” but if it wasn’t for the salad bar, a green and fruity oasis floating amidst shimmering seas of grease, we’d have likely both keeled over.


train station

Before we leave La Ceiba propper we decide to visit the lagoon & Cuevo y salado river 2k away.
Its a rickey slow bus ride round all the villages that hug the coast and then a great train ride on a single track though the countryside.

heres the train....


and the track...


we hang out the back (which is now the front) enjoying the breeze watching the busy little commnities as we chug by. Chickens, cattle, washing, cooking, kids splashing, coconut palms, herons, plains, jungle & lagoons.



We reach the end of the line and reluctantly disembark. Next to the waters edge in the visitors centre we find out there are Manatees nearby. Sadly, its too late in the day to go see the crazy creatures so we had to make do with looking at this picture.


I wish we did know him, he looks great

We go on a pleasant river tour on chocolate coloured water and see some Crocs (this ones a baby)...



long nosed bats roosting on a tree trunk, and....


dappeled mangrove waters

a yellow toucan!!!! We watched him for ages eating dates high up this palm. And see another one fly across the lake. I think they are the most distinctive bird to see in flight due to that bomerang bill.


Also spot a sleeping howler monkey and some terapins.

Our freckly guide finally takes us back to shore and we leave the tin boat very relaxed for the first time in 3 weeks.

With the insurance comanys all clear we leave La Ceiba and run to the hills. Remoteness here we come!